Category: Difficult decisions

On Jealousy…

Marian DLeave a comment

“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves” – William Penn.

In my culture, jealousy and envy are seen as collaborating sisters who can bring forth the tides of hell. Home entrances are decked out with eye shaped blue ceramics to shield the inhabitants from “the evil eye,” the eyes of the jealous and envious.

In the West, the two are differentiated: the former is seen as a natural product of love, and the latter is perceived as malicious. Those who are jealous feel this way against their better judgment and have good intentions, but those who are envious are guilty of consciously wishing failure and loss upon others. In the East, this differentiation is ignored because jealousy and envy are both expected to bring bad luck. Whether or not the bad luck is intentionally generated is irrelevant.

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On Purpose…

Marian DLeave a comment

When someone asks you who you are or what matters to you, do you tend to respond with an explanation about what you do?

Our jobs quickly come to define us, but there is so much more to us than that.

If you have chosen a career that aligns with your purpose, what you do will be in line with who you are. Congratulations. Your condition is rare. If the two do not align, you are not alone, and you need to read this!

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On White Dollars & Black Days…

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When you plant a seed in your garden, it takes weeks before you see a hint of green. You water the soil every day and sometimes question yourself, unsure if there’s a pulse in the dirt.

And then the stem peaks its head and you finally know that your time was worth investing.

When you decide to have a baby, do you expect to be holding the precious little one in your hands by tomorrow afternoon? No. You toil for months in the creation process.

We all understand these two facts to be true. There is no way to rush a plant into growing or a child into being. So why is it that we expect to become wealthy overnight? Why is it that, when we meet someone wealthy, we assume that Lady Luck smiled down on them more than the rest of us?

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On Fridays…

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Offices across the Western world are familiar with the hum and buzz of Friday. In the East, perhaps it is Wednesday or Thursday, but the sentiment is very much the same.

We don’t really question this. Naturally, it makes perfect sense to have the Monday blues and the Friday ya-hoo! Right?

What is wrong with this picture?

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On Fear…

Marian DLeave a comment

In The Alchemist, Coelho writes: “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.”

This was proven true to me by my two little Pomeranians, Mocha (female) and Twix (male). Yes, we have a thing for naming our dogs after our favourite treats. Mocha has always been tentative and fearful. Despite the fact that her breed is well recognized for surprisingly high bunny hops and the zoomies, Mocha prefers to remain very snuggly attached to mother earth. It can take her a full 5 minutes to muster up the courage to jump up a small step, and she often resolves to roll up in a ball and cry until we pick her up.

1.5 years into having Mocha, we adopted her half-brother, Twix. Polar opposite to his sister, Twix fully embraces performing the high jump. He has lept up and jumped off furniture so high that I’ve dropped my jaw in a high-pitched soul shuddering shriek as my heart shattered, certain that my beautiful puppy has tumbled down to a concussion, or to his demise. Contrary to my expectation, he has always come hopping back up with not a care in the world.

Mocha gets injured much more frequently than Twix, although she leaps less than a tenth of the distance.

In this way, my dogs have shown me that there is no greater obstacle to success than fear. Overthinking about what could possibly go wrong causes us to take shorter leaps, and results in more frequent injuries because it deters from our focus.

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On False Friendship…

Marian DLeave a comment

Show me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are.

The people we choose to spend time with play a fundamental role in who we become. If you do not believe this, observe two people who spend a lot of time together and try to map out the similarities between them. Do they have a similar laugh? Do they debate a conversational point using the same rational strategies? Do they share a similar unique behavior, like rubbing their noses when they think, or using words that are uncommon, like “I’m flabbergasted“?

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